Kakashi's dirty mind
by Chained-Monkey
Summary: Kakashi was just 'innocently' reading his Icha Icha Paradise as he walked past his kitchen, when he heard some unusual sounds. He stopped, Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto weren't'Oh God... they are... and in the KITCHEN' Rated for Kakashi's bad thoughtsOneshot


Title: Kakashi's mind.

Summary: "Sasuke-kun, your going too fast!" Kakashi stopped, was that Sakura? "Come on teme, Sakura's new at this." Naruto? "Naruto! Your pushing too hard!" ...Are they? "Sasuke-kun, what do I do with this? ""You suck it." Oh God... they were... and in the KITCHEN!

Rateing: M (For Kakashi's imagination)

Genres: Humor.

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto.**

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Kakashi opened his Icha Icha Paradise as he walked down the hall. He sighed to himself, he had read this book three times now and was still waiting for the next one.

His team was boreing.

Sakura crushed on Sasuke.

Naruto crushed on Sakura.

Sasuke didn't care, either way.

But Sakura and Naruto never did anything about their crushes.

Kakashi turned the page of his Icha Icha Paradise as he walked past the kitchen.

"Sasuke-kun, your going too fast!"

Kakashi stopped, was that Sakura?

"Come on teme, Sakura's new at this."

Naruto?

"Naruto! Your pushing too hard!"

...Are they?

"Sasuke-kun, what do I do with this?"

"You suck it."

Oh God... they are... and in the KITCHEN!

"Hey teme! I wanted that!"

Must not imagine...

They wouldn't. They're just twelve. Misunderstanding. It has to be... they must be doing something else.

Yeah, that's it!

Like,

like...

"Dobe."

"Yeah teme?"

"Your doing it wrong."

"I'm doing it right!"

"No Naruto, Sasuke-kuns right."

"Oh shit."

"Dobe..."

"What it is Naruto?"

"It's... stuck."

Kakashi's eye widened. Stuck?

"Now what do we do dobe?"

"Hmmm, maybe we should check. Get the book will ya Sasuke?"

Book?

Kakashi's eyes widened. He did have a secret Icha Icha Paradise stash... in case Jiraiya ran out of ideas and shut off Icha Icha Paradise. Making the books very vauable and hard to come by. Which would mean those who wanted to read the classics would spend millions to get the original hardback. NOO! The thought scared him so much, he had stashes all over the house. And that was another thing...

If Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto were doing what he thought they were doing then... he would most likely have to clean up after them. It was his kitchen after all. Oh the horror!

"NARUTO! What do you MEAN it's STUCK? I can NOT walk around like this! I'll look weird, Ino would never let me live it down."

Sakura sounded pretty angry.

Maybe... Maybe Naruto got something else stuck on Sakura.

_Or inside her._

'GENMA? What the HELL are you doing in my head?'

_Kakashi, Kakashi, Kakashi. I'm not Genma. I'm... your father._

'NOOO!'

_Well, actually I'm you._

'Like my conscience?'

_Actually, you know those little devils on your shoulder in cartoons?_

'Damn-'

"Sakura, lie down on the table."

"Are you sure she should do that teme? I mean-"

"How else are we going to pull it out, dobe? Kakashi would notice if she walked around like this, don't you think?"

"How do you guys do this?"

"We don't do it often Sakura-chan. Once a week. Okay, lie down just like that and-"

"Naaaruuutooo! Ahhhhhhhh!"

Must not... No.

"Naruto, wow. That was amazeing. I mean, at first it was hard, but then it went down smoothly."

_Hey, your nose is bleeding._

"Okay Sakura-chan, see here you are. Your stuck in between Sasuke and me okay?"

"Alright, I've gotten that much."

"Now Sakura, extend one and bend the other, then start moveing them."

"Yeah Sakura-chan! Like your rideing a bike."

"Okay how's this, Sasuke-kun?"

Grunt.

"Okay, now this is the last phase."

'NO! I can't let them go through with this! They're TWELVE! I have to stop this RIGHT NOW!'

His mind set, Kakashi banished the little devil on his shoulder and pushed the door open. "Now listen you three! Your not going to-" but he stopped in midsentence. The room didn't smell like sex. Instead, it smelled like... strawberries?

His eye turned towards his three pupils. All three looking petrified. But they weren't naked, or even half naked. They were fully clothed, even wearing oven mits. "W-what?"

"Looks like the jigs up." Naruto threw of his mits. "Oh well, Kakashi-sensei, do you want one of these?" He held up a cookie. "We tried our own recipes, but all we had were strawberries."

"I wouldn't touch Naruto's if i were you sensei." said Sakura, one mit off. "He almost made me choke on it."

Ch-choke?

_"Dobe."_

_"Yeah teme?"_

_"Your doing it wrong."_

_"I'm doing it right!"_

_"No Naruto, Sasuke-kuns right."_

_"Oh shit."_

_"Dobe..."_

_"What it is Naruto?"_

_"It's... stuck."_

So, that was it...

"Yeah, and then we had to get you on the table and push it down, but you liked it didn't you Sakura? You even said it went down without trouble."

_"Naruto, wow. That was amazeing. I mean, at first it was hard, but then it went down smoothly."_

Kakashi's eye turned to Sasuke. The Uchiha was stareing at him, blankly. "And It was Sakura's first time?" Kakashi asked, still a bit shooken, but he hid it well.

"I suppose," Sasuke looked reluctant to tell. "I've always had a... facsination with this. The dobe caught me, we did it a few times, twice a week sometimes. Then Sakura walked in on us and we let her in on the secret."

_"How do you guys do this?"_

_"We don't do it often Sakura-chan. Once a week. Okay, lie down just like that and-"_

"I... see." That was pretty much all he could come up with. And then, in a sudden jolt. "What book?"

He recieved three blank stares, then Sakura blinked. "You mean this thing?" she held up a cook book with a large muffin on it. "I got it from my moms kitchen. It's one of the best cook books in Konoha."

He gave them a small nodd. "Get some sleep. You have training in the morning." he said it rather cheerfully as well. Atleast they weren't... you know. With a poof he was gone.

"Well," said Sakura. "That was weird."

"Hey, now that we're done with the bakeing, let's try something new." said Naruto. He pulled out Kakashi's Icha Icha Paradise.

Sasuke and Sakura stared.

"Where the hell did you get that dobe?"

"It was in the box under the sink. Anway, I think I know why Kakashi-sensei was hideing it. It has some awsome stuff." he skipped through a few pages until he came upon his desired picture. "See? That girl under those guys? I think you have to use these in real danger. Like _real _danger. Those have to be hand signs!"

"Alright," said Sakura. "Let's give it a shot."

Sasuke grunted.

"And tomorrow we can impress Kakashi-sensei with this stuff. It looks all high level."

The three agreed.

* * *

Cat: I know! I know! It was really perverted, but I had to type it, weird ne? Also, it's rushed so please excuse the grammer mistakes. Well, happy Birthday Aki-chan, I hope you like it!

**Chained and Tortured/ Chained-Monkey.**


End file.
